Ok, so a Datingish entry got me thinking. It was all about whether women know what they want.
I think on one level, women do. I mean most woman want the dream... or then they want the... security. Once you realise the fairytale isn't possible.
Just realised that I wrote "the security". Please excuse that.
So that, what? The husband and 2.4 children? Or whatever is average now? The nice house, nice car, nice holidays... then obviously every individual person has variations on the theme.
What the post on Datingish was about was whether, when going out on dates, do woman think about this stuff? Is it always their goal? And I would say yes and no.
Yes, because we're always thinking about it... as an eventuality. Just as it is: a goal.
No, because who wants to scare off a guy by saying they want commitment, and who wants to jump in that fast themselves anyway?
Dating is just that. And when you start seeing someone, you aren't measuring them up against some kind of husband-yard-stick that's going to tell you that this guy is there for the long haul. You're asking different questions - whether you like spending time with this guy; whether he makes you laugh... whether you make him laugh?! Are you attracted to each other? Are your tastes the same, are your personalities compatible?
Then after that you have to worry about how you fit into each others' lives and whether your friends will get on and approve of the relationship... it's all so complicated that marriage and long term thoughts often come after all the rest of the crap that needs to be sorted through when trying to commit to a new relationship.
And that's before you get to looking over each others' baggage - meet the family, past relationships and all that jazz.
Of course the long term relationship / marriage / eternal happiness is what every woman is looking for, but it's not that simple. And if it was it wouldn't be so worth having.
And sometimes, by the time you realise that a guy isn't necessarily marriage material, you're already halfway in love with him and start clutching at straws... hoping, just hoping that maybe you're wrong and maybe someone will have a magic potion that will give you your happily ever after anyway.
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